雅思写作段落扩展内容空洞

楼主:天津雅思2019 时间:2019-03-18 14:36:10 点击:89 回复:0
脱水 打赏 看楼主 设置

字体:

边距:

背景:

还原:

  考生段落:
  There is no doubt that reading stories in books can cultivate the imagination . This will improve the creative mind of children, which provides them opportunities to overcome difficulties with creative mind. As a result, children are capable for the job demanding creative thoughts and achievements with high-efficiency.

  这个段落的问题1.没有解释清楚读书可以培养想象力的原因。考生在进行段落扩展时,必须秉承一个原则:读者对你的观点一无所知。跳过了原因,会使整个段落逻辑表达不清;2.段落的表达变成了想象力的优点,而不是读书可以给孩子带来的好处。所以,在讲好处的过程中,考生需要回去扣题,点出读书带来的优点;3.整个段落的表达用词较大,比如imagination, creative mind, achievements, high-efficiency, 用在孩子身上不切实际,不能说明读故事书实际给孩子带来的好处。

  可改成:
  Reading stories in books cultivates the imagination of children.(Topic sentence) When reading ,they image the roles and surroundings in books revealed by words simultaneously. (Cause) As a result, to those who have the habit of reading, they have more chance to build the creative mind, which is more helpful for them to flexibly solve problems met in their daily study and living. (effect or practical value).

  通过这样的方式进行扩展,对topic sentence进行分析并且通过practical value 将读书的好处最后又拉回到了实际问题的解决上,解释清楚了问题同时又不显得内容空洞宽泛。

打赏

4 点赞

主帖获得的天涯分:0
举报 | | 楼主 | 埋红包
楼主发言:1次 发图:0张 | 添加到话题 |
发表回复

请遵守天涯社区公约言论规则,不得违反国家法律法规