翻译练习:《哈尔的移动城堡》(诚心希望对英语和翻译有兴趣的朋友或高手批评指教,欢

楼主:碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:10:00 点击:3063 回复:83
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为了督促自己学英语而选择翻译小说,本来只想作为练习,自己看就可以的,不过,毕竟是英语和中文水平及词汇量都非常有限,与其闭门造车,我想贴出来接受大家的指教还更能提高一点。
    有些地方是大概了解英文意思,但不知如何用中文准确简练的写出来;有些是怎么也弄不懂英文的意思,但根据前后文,猜出可能的意思翻译个大概,或者甚至,只是猜出大概不重要而选择忽略;以上种种,说明我确实不是个负责任的翻译者,而且常常也随心所欲地翻译,汗。
  
  (另外,贴出原文我想比较方便讨论,但不知这算不算是一种侵权?)
  
  Howl’s Moving Castle
  哈尔的移动城堡
  By Diana Wynne Jones
  
     1: in which Sophie talks to hats
    第一章 苏菲跟帽子的谈话
     In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes.
    在因盖瑞大陆、一个诸如千里鞋和披着斗蓬的隐形人真实存在着的地方,生为三个姊妹中最大的一个是一件很不幸的事。最糟的是,当你们三姊妹不得不自谋出路的时候,人人都确信你会是最先失败的一个。
     Sophie Hatter was the eldest of three sisters. She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success. Her parents were well to do and kept a ladies’ hat shop in the prosperous town of Market Chipping. True, her own mother died when Sophie was just two years old and her sister Lettie was one year old, and their father married his youngest shop assistant, a pretty blonde girl called Fanny. Fanny shortly gave birth to the third sister, Martha. This ought to have made Sophie and Lettie into Ugly Sisters, but in fact all three girls grew up very pretty indeed, though Lettie was the one everyone said was most beautiful. Fanny treated all three girls with the same kindness and did not favor Martha in the least.
    苏菲·哈特是三姐妹中最大的一个。所幸她没有出生在一个穷得无法提供她任何成功机会的雕版师家庭中。她的父母在那个繁华的城镇的奇平市场里经营着一家女帽店,生活富裕。事实上,她的亲生母亲死于她年仅两岁、她妹妹蕾逖仅一岁的时候,之后她父亲娶了店中最年轻的女店员,一个名叫范妮的可爱的金发碧眼的女孩。不久后范妮就生下了第三个女孩,玛莎。这似乎会使苏菲和蕾逖成为丑陋的姐姐,但事实上三姐妹都成长为非常可爱的女孩,其中蕾逖被公认为是最漂亮的一个。范妮则一视同仁地和善对待三姐妹,并不会特别偏爱玛莎。
     Mr. Hatter was proud of his three daughters and sent them all to the best school in town. Sophie was the most studious. She read a great deal, and very soon realized how little chance she had of an interesting future. It was a disappointment to her, but she was still happy enough, looking after her sisters and grooming Martha to seek her fortune when the time came. Since Fanny was always busy in the shop, Sophie was the one who looked after the younger two. There was a certain amount of screaming and hair-pulling between those younger two. Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
    哈特先生对他的三个女儿感到非常自豪,送她们到镇上最好的学校上学。苏菲是最好学的一个。她大量阅读,并且很快意识到要过书中那些新奇有趣的生活对她来说机会是微乎其微的。这一度令她失望,不过她还是快乐的,照顾她的妹妹们,并且负责玛莎的生活琐事,直到她能自己做那些事为止。范妮一直以来都忙于店铺里的事,苏菲就是唯一能看顾两个更年幼的妹妹的人了。当然,两个小女孩之间总是会发生尖叫和拉扯彼此头发之类的麻烦,其他任何人的调解几乎都是注定失败的,蕾逖决不愿听从他们,除了苏菲。
     “It’s not fair!” Lettie would shout. “Why should Martha have the best of it just because she was born the youngest? I shall marry a prince, so there!”
    “这不公平!”蕾逖会叫道。“为什么玛莎就能得到最好的,仅仅因为她是最晚出生的一个?看着吧,我将嫁给一个王子,我已经决定了!”
     To which Martha always retorted that she would end up disgustingly rich without having to marry anybody.
    作为反驳,玛莎总是说她死也不喜欢为了钱而嫁给某人的想法。
     Then Sophie would have to drag them apart and mend their clothes. She was very deft with her needle. As time went on, she made clothes for her sisters too. There was one deep rose outfit she made for Lettie, the May Day before this story really starts, which Fanny said looked as if it had come from the most expensive shop in Kingsbury.
    然后苏菲就不得不把她俩拖开,补好她们的衣服。她做起针线活来非常熟练灵巧,到后来她甚至能为她们自己缝制衣服了。在这个故事真正开始的五月节之前,她为蕾逖做的一套深玫瑰红的衣服被范妮称赞为就跟金斯拜瑞最昂贵的店铺里做出来的一样好。
  
  -------------------------------------
  说明:
  1.Market Chipping:我想这应该是指那种零散分布在镇上各处、比较靠近城镇边缘的购物地区,不知是否正确?同样在后面出现了Market Square,应该是位于城镇中心或同时兼有市集集中地方的意思,不过要如何简单地翻译并区分开对我来说比较困难,因此第一个就直接当成市场的名称来翻译了,而后面一个就翻译成了中心市场。
  
  2.May day:想来那个世界里也不会有劳动节这种东西,看后面的时间和所描写的气氛,我想那是类似西方庆祝春天的五朔节还是什么的一类的狂欢性质的节日,因此姑且翻译成了没有什么味道的五月节。
  
  3.Kingsbury:因为还没看到后面可能会有的相关的地方,所以我想不一定是跟王室专用这一类名词挂钩的,暂时就先当成一个地名来翻译吧。

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楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:11:51
  About this time everyone began talking of the Witch of the Waste again. It was said that the Witch had threatened the life of the King’s daughter and that the King had commanded his personal magician, Wizard Suliman, to go into the Waste and deal with the Witch. And it seemed that Wizard Suliman had not only failed to deal with the Witch: he had got himself killed by her.
    差不多也就在这个时候,人们开始再次谈论起荒地女巫。传说女巫曾威胁国王女儿的生命,因此国王命令他的私人术士——男巫苏里曼进入荒地与女巫交涉。而看来失败的不光是与女巫的交涉:男巫苏里曼被杀掉了。
     So when, a few months after that, a tall black castle suddenly appeared on the hills above Market Chipping, blowing clouds of black smoke from its four tall, thin turrets, everybody was fairly sure that the Witch had moved out of the Waste again and was about to terrorize the country the way she used to fifty years ago. People got very scared indeed. Nobody went out alone, particularly, at night. What made it all the scarier was that the castle did not stay in the same place. Sometimes it was a tall black smudge on the moors to the northwest, sometimes it reared above the rocks to the east, and sometimes it came right downhill to sit in the heather only just beyond the last farm to the north. You could see it actually moving sometimes, with smoke pouring out from the turrets in dirty gray gusts. For a while everyone was certain that the castle would come right down into the valley before long, and the Mayor talked of sending to the King for help.
    而现在,距离那次事件短短数月之后,一座黑沉沉的高大的城堡出现在了奇平市场附近的山丘上,从它的四根又高又细的塔楼中,排出黑烟形成的云雾。大家都相信,那是女巫离开了荒地,并且正要给这个国家带来恐惧,如同她十五年前常做的那样。人们陷入深深的恐惧中,在夜晚谁都不敢单独出门。而引起普遍恐慌的是,城堡从不呆在一个固定的地方。有时侯人们会在西北部的沼泽地区看见那高高的黑色烟柱,有时侯是在东边的岩石背后,还有些时候它会靠近北边最近的一个农庄,在山坡下的石南花丛中呆着。不时有人看见它正在移动中,周围缭绕着从那些高塔中喷出的脏污的灰色烟雾。
     But the castle stayed roving about the hills, and it was learned that it did not belong to the Witch but to Wizard Howl. Wizard Howl was bad enough. Though he did not seem to want to leave the hills, he was known to amuse himself by collecting young girls and sucking the souls from them. Or some people said he ate their hearts. He was an utterly cold-blooded and heartless wizard and no young girl was safe from him if he caught her on her own. Sophie, Lettie, and Martha, along with all the other girls in Market Chipping, were warned never to go out alone, which was a great annoyance to them. They wondered what use Wizard Howl found for all the souls he collected.
    不过随着这个城堡在周围山丘上漫游,人们知道了它并不是属于荒地女巫而是男巫哈尔。男巫哈尔也是个够坏的家伙。看样子他不打算离开这个地区,传说他会搜集年轻女孩并吸食她们的灵魂来愉悦自己,还有些人说他吃掉她们的心脏。他是个彻头彻尾的冷血无情的巫师,被他抓进自己城堡的年轻女孩没一个可以安然无恙。苏菲、蕾逖和玛莎也跟奇平市场的其他年轻女孩一样,被警告绝对不能单独外出,虽然这使他们大大地感到麻烦。人们猜测巫师哈尔究竟会拿他搜集的这些灵魂做什么用。
     They had other things on their minds before long, however, for Mr. Hatter had died suddenly just as Sophie was old enough to leave school for good. It then appeared that Mr. Hatter had been altogether too proud of his daughters. The school fees he had been paying had left the shop with quite heavy debts. When the funeral was over, Fanny sat down in the parlor in the house next door to the shop and explained the situation.
    不过不久以后他们就有了其他需要困扰的事。那就是在苏菲到了毕业年龄的时候,哈特先生忽然死了。然后发现了哈特先生究竟是多么的以他的女儿为骄傲,他为她们付出的学费使得店铺严重负债。当葬礼结束后,范妮在与店铺相邻的住宅的会客室里坐下,开始说明他们目前的处境。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:21:49
   “You’ll all have to leave that school, I’m afraid,” she said. “I’ve been doing sums back and front and sideways, and the only way I can see to keep the business going and take care of the three of you is to see you all settled in a promising apprenticeship somewhere. It isn’t practical to have you all in the shop. I can’t afford it. So this is what I’ve decided. Lettie first-“
    “我恐怕你们都不得不离开学校了。”她说。“我已经从各方面都计算过了,我们能保住店铺的唯一方法就是看看在哪里可以为你们三个找到一份有前途的学徒的工作。把你们都留在店里是不实际的,我无法供得起,所以我只能决定这样了。首先是蕾逖……”
     Lettie looked up, glowing with health and beauty which even sorrow and black clothes could not hide. “I want to go on learning,” she said.
    蕾逖抬起头,即使是悲伤和黑色的衣服也不能掩藏她的生气勃勃的美丽。“我想继续学习。”她说。
     “So you shall, love,” said Fanny. “I’ve arranged for you to be apprenticed to Cesari’s, the pastry cook in Market Square. They’ve a name for treating their learners like kings and queens, and you should be very happy there, as well as learning a useful trade. Mrs.Cesari’s a good customer and a good friend, and she’s agreed to squeeze you in as a favor.”
    “那么你会的,亲爱的。”范妮说。“我打算送你去克萨里的店里当学徒,他是个在市场中心工作的糕点师傅,他们总是用国王和王后的名字为那些学徒们命名,你在那儿会非常开心的,也可以学点有用的生意经验。克萨里夫人是个好客户,也是个好朋友,她已经非常高兴地同意你去那里了。”
     Lettie laughed in a way that showed she was not at all pleased. “Well, thank you,” she said. “Isn’t it lucky that I like cooking?”
    蕾逖笑了一下,那笑容显出好象她对这种安排一点也不高兴。“好吧,谢谢您。”她说。“我喜欢烹饪,这难道不是一种幸运吗?”
     Fanny looked relieved. Lettie could be awkwardly strong-minded at times. “Now Martha,” she said. “I know you’re full young to go out and work, so I’ve thought around for something that would give you a long, quiet apprenticeship and go on being useful to you whatever you decide to do after that. You know my old school friend Annabel Fairfax?”
    范妮看上去放心了一点。有时蕾逖会以笨拙的方式表现她的坚强。“现在是玛莎,”她说。“我知道对于外出工作来说你是太年轻了,所以我想得找一份能给你提供长期的、安静的学徒生活的地方,而且在那里你要能学到一些对你以后不管去哪里都能有用的东西。你知道我的老校友安娜贝尔·费尔法克斯吧?”
     Martha, who was slender and fair, fixed her big gray eyes on Fanny almost as strong-mindedly as Lettie. “You mean the one who talks such a lot,” she said. “Isn’t she a witch?”
    苗条白皙的玛莎用她大大的灰眼睛盯住范妮,看上去几乎和蕾逖一样坚强。“你说的是那个很健谈的人吗?”她问。“她是个女巫吗?”
     “Yes, with a lovely house and clients all over the Folding Valley,” Fanny said eagerly. “She’s a good woman, Martha. She’ll introduce you to grand people she knows in Kingsbury. You’ll be all set up in life when she’s done with you.”
    “是的。她有一幢可爱的房子,而她的顾客遍及佛丁山谷。”范妮热切地说。“她是个好妇人,玛莎。她会把你介绍给她认识的金斯伯瑞的要人们。当她把什么都教给你后。你就再不用为你的生活发愁了。”
     “She’s a nice lady,” Martha conceded. “All right.”
    “她是位和蔼的女士。”玛莎说。“那么好吧。”
     Sophie, listening, felt that Fanny had worked everything out just as it should be. Lettie, as the second daughter, was never likely to come to much, so Fanny had put her where she might meet a handsome young apprentice and live happily ever after. Martha, who was bound to strike out and make her fortune, would have witchcraft and rich friends to help her. As for Sophie herself, Sophie had no doubt what was coming. It did not surprise her when Fanny said, “Now, Sophie dear, it seems only right and just that you should inherit the hat shop when I retire, being the eldest as you are. So I’ve decided to take you on as an apprentice myself, to give you a chance to learn the trade. How do you feel about that?”
    苏菲聆听着,她觉得范妮已经把事情都考虑得井井有条了。老二蕾逖是不可能有什么大的成就的,所以范妮就把她安排在一个她可能会遇见一个英俊年轻的学徒的地方,而从此之后她就会过着快乐的生活。玛莎需要一个新的富裕的生活,而她就将会有魔力和富有的朋友可以帮助她。轮到苏菲自己,苏菲并不怀疑将来临的是什么。所以当她听到范妮如此说时,她一点也不感到惊讶:“现在,亲爱的苏菲,作为姐妹中最年长的一个,你理所当然地应该在我退休之后继承女帽店。因此我决定把你当作我自己的学徒,让你有机会学习如何做生意,你觉得怎么样?”
     Sophie could hardly say that she simple felt resigned to the hat trade. She thanked Fanny gratefully.
    感觉自己被和这间女帽店拴在了一起,苏菲几乎无法说话。她感激地谢了范妮。
  (这段不知如何翻译更好,苏菲显然不喜欢女帽店那种一点也没有新奇感的生活,想到这样暗淡的生活可能就是她的未来大概才是她几乎无法说话的原因。但要跟最后一句接起来的话,中间大概还得说明很多。)
     “So that’s settled then!” Fanny said.
    “那么就这样决定了吧。”范妮说。
  ——————————————————
  最长的一段还没检查,我想毛病会很多。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:30:16
  The next day Sophie helped Martha pack her clothes in a box, and the morning after that they all saw her off on the carrier’s cart, looking small and upright and nervous. For the way to Upper Folding, where Mrs. Fairfax lived, lay over the hills past Wizard Howl’s moving castle. Martha was understandably scared.
    隔天苏菲帮助玛莎把她的衣服拣到一只箱子里。之后那个早上她们一起把她送上了邮递马车,不安地看着马车笔直地远去,越来越小,因为要通往费尔法克斯夫人居住的山顶的路,必须要经过哈尔的移动城堡所在的山脚下。
     “ She’ll be all right,” said Lettie. Lettie refused all help with the packing. When the carrier’s cart was out of sight, Lettie crammed all her possessions into a pillow case and paid the neighbor’s bootboy sixpence to wheel it in a wheelbarrow to Cesari’s in Market Square. Lettie marched behind the wheelbarrow looking much more cheerful than Sophie expected. Indeed. She had the air of shaking the dust of the hat shop off her feet.
    “她不会有事的。”蕾逖说。蕾逖谢绝其他人帮她收拾行李。当邮递马车驶出视线外后,蕾逖把她所有的东西放进一个小包裹里,给了附近一个跑腿的男孩6便士,让他用一部小手推车送到中心市场克萨里的店里去。蕾逖走在手推车前面的样子看起来比苏菲预想的要好得多。她不由自主地挥去女帽店的阴影。
     The bootboy brought back a scribbled note from Lettie, saying she had put her things in the girls’ dormitory and Cesari’s seemed great fun. A week later the carrier brought a letter from Martha to say that Martha had arrived safely and that Mrs. Fairfax was “a great dear and used honey with everything. She keeps bees.” That was all Sophie heard of her sisters for quite a while because she started her own apprenticeship the day Martha and Lettie left.
    跑腿的男孩带回来蕾逖写的一张潦草的便条,上面说她已经在女孩子的宿舍里安顿了下来,克萨里一家看上去也是非常有趣的人。一星期之后邮递马车带回来玛莎写的一封信,说她已经安全抵达,费尔法克斯夫人是个非常亲切的人,她做什么东西都加上蜂蜜,她养了蜜蜂。这就是在很长的一段时间内苏菲所知道的全部关于她的妹妹们的事,因为在玛莎和蕾逖离开后,她也开始了她自己的学徒生涯。
     Sophie of course knew the hat trade quite well already. Since she was a tiny child she had run in and out of the big workshed across the yard where the hats were damped and molded on blocks, and flowers and fruit and other trimmings were made from wax and silk. She knew the people who worked there. Most of them had been there when her father was a boy. She knew Bessie, the only remaining shop assistant. She knew the customers who bought the hats and the man who drove the cart which fetched raw straw hats in from the country to be shaped on the blocks in the shed. She knew the other suppliers and how you made felt for winter hats. There was not really much that Fanny could teach her, except perhaps the best way to get a customer to buy a hat.
    当然,苏菲知道在女帽店工作已经很不错了。自从她还是一个纤弱的孩子时,就在巨大的工作间里进进出出,那里帽子都被放在模型上用以成型,还有用蜡和丝绸制成的花和水果以及其他一些用于填充的东西,她认识在那里工作的所有人。他们中大多数人在她父亲还是个小男孩时就在这里工作了。她认识贝茜,唯一还留在店里的女助手。她认识买帽子的顾客,认识从乡下赶着大车带着没有加工过的草帽到工作间里来定型的人。她认识其他的供应商,知道如何制作冬帽。范妮确实已经没有多少东西可以教给她的了,除了如何用最好的方法把一顶帽子推销给一位客人。
     “You lead up to the right hat, love,” Fanny said. “Show them the ones that won’t quite do first, so they know the difference as soon as they put the right one on.”
    “你要把他们引到最适合他们的帽子那里,亲爱的。”范妮说。“先给他们看一顶不是非常适合的,这样一来当他们一戴上合适的那顶,就会立刻看出差异来了。”
     In fact, Sophie did not sell hats very much. After a day or so observing in the workshed, and another day going round the clothier and the silk merchant’s with Fanny, Fanny set her to trimming hats. Sophie sat in a small alcove at the back of the shop, sewing roses to bonnets and veiling to velours, lining all of them with silk and arranging wax fruit and ribbons stylishly on the outsides. She was good at it. She quite liked doing it. But she felt so isolated and a little dull. The workshop people were too old to be much fun and, besides, they treated her as someone apart who was going to inherit the business someday. Bessie treated her the same way. Bessie’s only talk anyway was about the farmer she was going to marry the week after May Day. Sophie rather envied Fanny, who could bustle off to bargain with the silk merchant whenever she wanted.
    事实上,苏菲卖帽子的机会不是很多,大约在工作间认真学习一天之后,其他的时候她都跟着范妮在呢绒商和丝绸商人之间来回奔波,范妮安排她给帽子上加上装饰物这项工作。苏菲坐在店子后的小凹室里面,在无边女帽上绣上玫瑰,在天鹅绒上蒙上面纱,用丝绸给所有的帽子加上内衬,在帽缘上安排蜡制的水果和时髦的缎带。她非常精于此道,也非常喜欢这个工作。但她感到如此孤独和暗淡。工场里的人们都太老以至于无趣,此外,他们把她做作女帽店未来的继承人而区别对待,贝茜也是一样。贝茜唯一爱挂在嘴边的就是她在五月节后的那个星期将要嫁给他的那个农夫。苏菲有点羡慕范妮,至少她总能随时离开去跟丝绸商人讨价还价。
  
  ——————————————
  1.trimming:这一段似乎专业名词好多啊,这个词看多了以后,我想是指帽顶和帽缘连接的那个部位,不过不知道应该怎么叫才准确。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:31:55
  第一次发主贴,不知道标题原来是有字数限制的,可以麻烦版主替我修改一下吗?谢谢。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:40:19
   The most interesting thing was the talk from the customers. Nobody can buy a hat without gossiping. Sophie sat in her alcove and stitched and heard that the Mayor never would eat green vegetables, and that Wizard Howl’s castle had moved round to the cliffs again, really that man, whisper, whisper, whisper…. The voices always dropped low when they talked of Wizard Howl, but Sophie gathered that he had caught a girl down the valley last month. “Bluebeard!” said the whispers, and then became voices again to say that Jane Farrier was a perfect disgrace the way she did her hair. That was one who would never attract even Wizard Howl, let alone a respectable man. Then there would be a fleeting, fearful whisper about the Witch of the Waste. Sophie began to feel that Wizard Howl and the Witch of the Waste should get together.
    顾客的谈话是最有趣的事情。没有人在买下一顶帽子前会不先谈上一些闲话。苏菲坐在她的小凹室里,一边缝纫,一边听着市长从不愿吃绿色蔬菜、巫师哈尔的城堡又再次移动到悬崖边以及关于那个男人的耳语等等等等。当他们谈论到巫师哈尔时他们总是放低声音,但是苏菲还是听到说他上个月又从山下的村子里掳走了一个女孩子。“蓝胡子!”他们耳语说,然后又恢复到正常的声音,议论说简·法瑞尔给自己做的新发型真是失败到家了。那甚至吸引不了巫师哈尔,更别提什么有地位的男人了。然后又是一阵短暂的、充满恐惧的关于荒地女巫的低语,苏菲开始觉得巫师哈尔和荒地女巫会伙同起来了。
     “They seem to be made for one another. Someone ought to arrange a match,” she remarked to the hat she was trimming at that moment.
   “看上去他们还真适合彼此。应该有人把他们安排在一起。”她给正在装饰的帽子缝上标签。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 22:50:13
   But by the end of the month the gossip in the shop was suddenly all about Lettie. Cesari’s, it seemed, was packed with gentlemen from morning to night, each one buying quantities of cakes and demanding to be served by Lettie. She had ten proposals of marriage, ranging in quality from the Mayor’s son to the lad who swept the streets, and she had refused them all, saying she was too young to make up her mind yet.
    但是到了月末,店里的闲谈突然全都是关于蕾逖的了。听上去,克萨里的店里从早到晚都挤满了绅士们,他们买了很多的糕点,并且都指名要蕾逖的服务。她已经收到了十次的求婚,求婚者的身份地位从市长的儿子直到扫街的小伙子。她拒绝了所有的求婚,说她还太年轻而不能决定。
    “I call that sensible of her,” Sophie said to the bonnet she was pleating silk into.
    “我认为她是明智的。”苏菲对她手边正在缝上打褶的丝绸的无边女帽说,
     Fanny was pleased with this news. “I knew she’d be all right!” she said happily. It occurred to Sophie that Fanny was glad Lettie was no longer around.
    范妮很高兴听见这个消息。“我知道她会做得很好!”她愉快地说。这使苏菲想到,范妮对蕾逖不会再出现在她周围一事感到高兴。
     “Lettie’s bad for custom,” she told the bonnet, pleating away at the mushroom-colored silk. “She would make even you look glamorous, you dowdy old thing. Other ladies look at Lettie and despair.”
    “蕾逖对顾客会是不好的影响。”苏菲告诉她的帽子,她正用一种蘑菇颜色的丝绸做绉折。“她就是戴上你这样老式寒酸的帽子也会显得非常迷人的,其他女人看了她都会感觉绝望。”
     Sophie talked to hats more and more as weeks went by. There was no one else much to talk to. Fanny was out bargaining, or trying to whip up custom, much of the day, and Bessie was busy serving and telling everyone her wedding plans. Sophie got into the habit of putting each hat on the stand as she finished it, where it sat almost looking like a head without a body, and pausing while she told the hat what the body under it ought to be like. She flattered the hats a bit, because you should flatter customers.
    随着时间流逝,苏菲越来越多地和她的帽子谈话。这儿也没其他人会跟她说话。范妮大多数时候总是在外面做买卖,招徕顾客,贝茜忙着照顾顾客并告诉每个人她的婚礼计划。苏菲渐渐地习惯了把完工的帽子放成一排,这样它们看上去就好象一个个没有身体的脑袋。她告诉帽子在它们下面的身体应该是什么样子,并且盛赞它们,因为你当然得赞美顾客。
     “You have mysterious allure,” she told one that was all veiling with hidden twinkles. To a wide, creamy hat with roses under the brim, she said, “You are going to have to marry money!” and to a caterpillar-green straw with a curly green feather she said, “You are young as a spring leaf.” She told pink bonnets they had dimpled charm and smart hats trimmed with velvet that they were witty. She told the mushroom-pleated bonnet, “You have a heart of gold and someone in a high position will see it and fall in love with you.” This was because she was sorry for that particular bonnet. It looked so fussy and plain.
    “你有种神秘的吸引力。”她对一顶整个罩在网眼纱下的帽子说。对一顶奶油色的在边缘处绣着玫瑰的宽沿女帽,她说。“你会嫁给一个有钱人!”而对一顶青虫绿色、饰有同色羽毛的草帽,她说,“你年轻得如同一片春天的嫩叶。”她告诉粉红色的无沿女帽它散发着迷人的魔力,告诉用天鹅绒装饰起来的时髦女帽它富于机智。她告诉那顶蘑菇颜色的有折皱的无沿女帽:“你有一颗金子般的心,一个高尚的人会发现这一点并且爱上你。”她之所以这样说是因为她觉得对这顶特别的帽子很抱歉,因为它看上去那么朴素而不讨人喜欢。
     Jane Farrier came into the shop next day and bought it. Her hair did look a little strange, Sophie thought, peeping out of her alcove, as if Jane had wound it round a row of pokers. It seemed a pity she had chosen that bonnet. But everyone seemed to be buying hats and bonnets around then. Maybe it was Fanny’s sales talk or maybe it was spring coming on, but the hat trade was definitely picking up. Fanny began to say, a little guiltily, “I think I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry to get Martha and Lettie placed out. At this rate we might have managed.”
    隔天简·法瑞尔来到店里买下了这顶帽子。她的头发看起来有点奇怪,苏菲从她的凹室往外面偷看,想着,就好象简曾经用一排夹火棍试图使它们卷曲一样。她选择了那顶帽子似乎有点遗憾。不过每个人都买帽子,到处都是戴无沿女帽的人。这也许是因为范妮招徕了顾客,也许也只是因为春天来了,但女帽店的生意倒确实是蒸蒸日上,范妮开始带点遗憾地说:“我想我不该那么急着把玛莎和蕾逖送出去的。照这个情况看来,我们能够应付过去的。”
  
  __________________
  1.关于简的这段看得似懂非懂,到第二章才总算了解到一点。
  
  2.范妮对于有很多人向蕾逖的消息的态度,总觉得是我理解错,之前的范妮一直是以一个难得在童话故事里看到的和善的后妈形象出现的异数,不过昨天看到第二章才发现了阴暗的一面,毕竟还是正常的童话故事嘛。不过这个时候的苏菲本来不会想到那么多的,而全文基本都是以苏菲的视点来进行描写的,所以我想一开始把这句往好里译还是不算错的吧。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 23:04:00
     There was so much custom as April drew on towards May Day that Sophie had to put on a demure gray dress and help in the shop too. But such was the demand that she was hard at trimming hats in between customers, and every evening she took them next door to the house, where she worked by lamplight far into the night in order to have hats to sell the next day. Caterpillar-green hats like the one the Mayor’s wife had were much called for, and so were pink bonnets. Then, the week before May Day, someone came in and asked for one with mushroom pleats like the one Jane Farrier had been wearing when she ran off with the Count of Catterack.
    在临近五月节的四月里,顾客如此之多,以至苏菲也不得不换上端庄的灰色衣服,到店里去帮忙了。这工作要求她辛苦地把帽子推销给合适的顾客。到了夜晚她把帽子都带回隔壁的住处,在那里她点灯工作直到深夜,赶做第二天要卖的帽子。青虫绿色的草帽得到市长夫人大力称赞,粉红的那顶也是。然后,五月节前的那个星期,有人来要求订购一顶和简·法瑞尔遇到卡特瑞克伯爵时所戴的一样的蘑菇色的帽子。
     That night, as she sewed, Sophie admitted to herself that her life was rather dull. Instead of talking to the hats, she tried each one on as she finished it and looked in the mirror. This was a mistake. The staid gray dress did not suit Sophie, particularly when her eyes were red-rimmed with sewing, and, since her hair was a reddish straw color, neither did caterpillar-green nor pink. The one with the mushroom pleats simply made her look dreary. “Like an old maid!” said Sophie. Not that she wanted to race off with counts, like Jane Farrier, or even fancied half the town offering her marriage, like Lettie. But she wanted to do something-she was not sure what- that had a bit more interest to it than simply trimming hats. She thought she would find time next day to go and talk to Lettie.
   那个晚上,当苏菲做针线活的时候,她承认自己的生活实在是太无趣了。代替与帽子交谈,她在完成每一顶帽子后都戴上它照镜子。这是一个错误,暗淡的灰色衣服并不适合苏菲,这突出了她因为做针线活而造成的红眼圈,再说,她的头发也是微微泛红的淡黄色,既不是青虫的绿色也不是粉红。那顶有折皱的蘑菇色的无沿女帽更是使她看起来非常的沉闷。“看上去简直就象个老太婆!”苏菲说。倒不是想和简·法瑞尔一样邂逅某位伯爵,或者向蕾逖那样招来半个镇的男人向她求婚。但是她应该有点什么比在这里缝帽子有趣点的事情做做,虽然还不确定是什么。她想她也许隔天应该找点时间去和蕾逖聊聊。
     But she did not go. Either she could not find the time, or she could not find the energy, or it seemed a great distance to Market Square, or she remembered that on her own she was in danger from Wizard Howl- anyway, every day it seemed more difficult to go and see her sister. It was very odd. Sophie had always thought she was nearly as strong-minded as Lettie. Now she was finding that there were some things she could only do when there were no excuses left. “This is absurd!” Sophie said. “Market Square is only two streets away. If I run-“ And she swore to herself she would go round to Cesari’s when the hat shop was closed for May Day.
   但是她还是没有去成。或许是因为她没有时间,或许是她提不起精神,或者是到中心市场的这段距离看上去太远了,也或者是她想起她不得不一个人冒险从巫师哈尔的附近经过。总之,似乎每一天要去看她的妹妹都难以成行。这很奇怪。苏菲总在想她要和蕾逖一样有坚强的意志就好了。“这是可笑的!”苏菲说。“中心市场只有两条街的距离。假如我用跑的……”然后她对自己发誓当五月节帽子店歇业的时候她一定要到克萨里的店里去一次。
     Meanwhile a new piece of gossip came into the shop. The King had quarreled with his own brother, Prince Justin, it was said, and the Prince had gone into exile. Nobody quite knew the reason for the quarrel, but the Prince had actually come through Market Chipping in disguise a couple of months back, and nobody had known. The Count of Catterack had been sent by the King to look for the Prince, when he happened to meet Jane Farrier instead. Sophie listened and felt sad. Interesting things did seem to happen, but always to somebody else. Still, it would be nice to see Lettie.
    其间有新的谣传传到店里。国王同他的弟弟贾斯丁亲王发生了争执,还说亲王已经逃亡。没有人知道争吵的确切原因,不过几个月后伪装的亲王确实在无人知晓的情况下经过奇平市场。卡特瑞克伯爵接到国王的命令搜寻亲王,正是他遇到简·法瑞尔的前后。苏菲听见后感到伤心。有趣的事总是轮不到她。不过至少能去见蕾逖也是令人愉快的。(在这一段里似乎显示出Market Chipping应该是一个地区或一个范围,才可能通过。而如果是零散的分布各处的话,那似乎是不合理的。)
     May Day came. Merrymaking filled the streets from dawn onward. Fanny went out early, but Sophie had a couple of hats to finish first. Sophie sang as she worked. After all, Lettie was working too. Cesari’s was open till midnight on holidays. “I shall buy one of their cream cakes,” Sophie decided. “I haven’t had one for ages.” She watched people crowding past the window in all kinds of bright clothes, people selling souvenirs, people walking on stilts, and felt really excited.
    五月节到了。从清晨前开始狂欢者就充满了大街小巷。范妮很早就出了门,但是苏菲还得先完成几顶帽子。苏菲工作的时候唱着歌,毕竟蕾逖也还在工作中,在假日里,克萨里的店会开到半夜。“我会向他们买一个奶油蛋糕。”苏菲决定。“我已经很长时间没有吃过了。”她透过窗子看着穿着各种华丽衣装的拥挤的人群,有人在兜售纪念品,有人在踩高跷,一切都着实让人兴奋。
  
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  1.the Count of Catterack:这是在看了国王下命令一段后才决定应该是要这样翻译才显得比较合理的,至于那个ran off,实在超出了我的水平之外。不被翻译软件收录的口语习惯语,我都一概不知....惭愧.....
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 23:08:16
     But when she at last put a gray shawl over her gray dress and went out into the street, Sophie did not feel excited. She felt overwhelmed. There were too many people rushing past, laughing and shouting, far too much noise and jostling. Sophie felt as if the past months of sitting and sewing had turned her into an old woman or a semi-invalid. She gathered her shawl around her and crept along close to the houses, trying to avoid being trodden on my people’s best shoes or being jabbed by elbows in trailing silk sleeves. When there came a sudden volley of bangs from overhead somewhere, Sophie thought she was going to faint. She looked up and saw Wizard Howl’s castle right down on the hillside above the town, so near it seemed to be sitting on the chimneys. Blue flames were shooting out of all four of the castle’s turrets, bringing balls of blue fire with them that exploded high in the sky, quite horrendously. Wizard Howl seemed to be offended by May Day. Or maybe he was trying to join in, in his own fashion. Sophie was too terrified to care. She would have gone home, except that she was halfway to Cesari’s by then. So she ran.
   不过当她最后在灰色的衣服上披上一条暗淡的围巾出门来到大街上时,苏菲并不感到兴奋。她只觉得好象被人潮淹没了。这里有太多的人涌来涌去,大笑和喊叫,巨大的噪音和推攘,苏菲感觉在过去几个月里一动不动地坐着做针线活已经使她像个老太婆或虚弱的病人了。她把自己紧裹在围巾里,尽量靠近建筑物小心翼翼地走着,试着避免她穿的那双家里的最好的鞋子被踩到,或者被那些裹在拖曳的丝绸长袖里的手肘猛然撞到。当头上某处突然传来礼炮的轰鸣声时,苏菲觉得她就要昏过去了。她仰望着正处于城镇上方的山坡上的巫师哈尔的城堡,它如此之近以至看起来就仿佛坐落在那些烟囱之间。蓝色的光芒从城堡所有四个塔楼上喷射而出,夹杂着蓝色火球,在高空爆破开来,极其可怕。看起来巫师哈尔是被这个五月节给惹怒了,或者说他是以他自己的方式想要加入庆祝的行列。苏菲太恐惧而心生焦虑,若非她已在到克萨里店的半路上了,她宁可回家,因此她开始跑起来。
     “What made me think I wanted life to be interesting?” she asked as she ran. “I’d be far too scared. It comes of being the eldest of three.”
    “究竟是什么使我认为我要让生活有新奇感一点?”她边奔跑边自问。“我太胆小了!这都是因为我是三姐妹中最大的一个。”
  (这段大概是苏菲对自己因为想改变下自己的生活而采取了行动,结果却因不习惯喧哗的环境而饱受惊吓、再加上大陆那种传统看法,而产生了后悔和畏缩的想法。)
     When she reached Market Square, it was worse, if possible. most of the inns were in the Square. Crowds of young men swaggered beerily to and fro, trailing cloaks and long sleeves and stamping buckled boots they would never have dreamed of wearing on a working day, calling loud remarks and accosting girls. The girls strolled in fine pairs, ready to be accosted. It was perfectly normal for May Day, but Sophie was scared of that too. And when a young man in a fantastical blue-and-silver costume spotted Sophie and decided to accost her as well, Sophie shrank into a shop doorway and tried to hide.
    当她到达中央市场时,情况看起来更糟了。大部分的旅馆都集中在中央,年轻人群集在一起,打扮时髦,醉熏熏地走来走去。穿着宽大拖地的斗蓬和长长的袖子以及带扣子的压制成型的靴子,这些是在工作日里他们从来不敢想象能穿着的东西,他们大声地评价女孩,并向她们搭讪,结伴闲逛的女孩们也准备好了被搭讪,这在五月节是很正常而完美的,但是苏菲对这些也怕得要命。因此当一个穿着古怪的蓝色和银色衣服的年轻男人拦住苏菲并象惯常做的那样向她搭讪时,苏菲缩进了一家小店的门里并试图把自己隐藏起来。
     The young man looked at her in surprise. “It’s all right, you little gray mouse,” he said, laughing rather pityingly. “I only want to buy you a drink. Don’t look so scared.”
    年轻男人惊讶地看着她:“好啦好啦,你这灰色的小耗子。”他说,颇为同情地笑。“我只是想给你买杯饮料,别显得那么害怕。”
     The pitying look made Sophie utterly ashamed. He was such a dashing specimen too, with a bony, sophisticated face-really quite old, well into his twenties- and elaborate blonde hair. His sleeves trailed longer than any in the Square, all scalloped edges and silver insets. “Oh, no thank you, if you please, sir,” Sophie stammered. “I- I’m on my way to see my sister.”
    那同情的注视使苏菲完全被羞愧笼罩。他也是个打扮华美而特别的人,有一张瘦削的、就他二十几岁的年纪来说显得深沉的脸,精心梳理的金发。他的袖子拖得比广场上其他人的更长,袖边缀满扇形的银色花边。“噢,不,谢谢你,先生,假如你高兴的话。”苏菲结结巴巴地说,“我——我正要去看我的妹妹。”
     “Then by all means do so,” laughed this advanced young man. “Who am I to keep a pretty lady from her sister? Would you like me to go with you, since you seem so scared?”
    “那当然得去了。”这个成熟的年轻男人笑道。“我怎么会是那种阻止一位可爱的小姐去看望她妹妹的人呢?你愿意我陪你一起去吗?因为你显得那么害怕?”
     He meant it kindly, which made Sophie more ashamed than ever. “No. No thank you, sir!” she gasped and fled away past him. He wore perfume too. The smell of hyacinths followed her as she ran. What a courtly person! Sophie thought, as she pushed her way between the little tables outside Cesari’s.
    他的态度这么和善,使得苏菲比之前更为羞愧。“不,不,谢谢你,先生!”她喘息着说,逃离了他。他散发着香味,那种风信子的香味在她跑开时一直尾随着她。多么高贵而彬彬有礼的人!当她费力在克萨里店外的小桌子之间前进的时候,苏菲想道。
  
  ——————————
  说明1.关于神秘男人,猜想是哈尔的那位,是想往好的地方译,所以与原文偏差很大吧,我想。
  2.段落完全依照我拷下的英文版,也许应该重新划分一下会比较容易看。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-05 23:14:16
   The tables were packed. Inside was packed and as noisy as the Square. Sophie located Lettie among the line of assistants at the counter because of the group of evident farmer’ sons leaning their elbows on it to shout remarks to her. Lettie, prettier than ever and perhaps a little thinner, was putting cakes into bags as fast as she could go, giving each bag a deft little twist and looking back under her own elbow with a smile and an answer for each bag she twisted. There was a great deal of laughter. Sophie had to fight her way through to the counter.
    餐桌塞满了所有空间。在店里也是一样,几乎和中央市场上一样的喧闹。苏菲沿着柜台里站成一排的店员中望去,找到了蕾逖的身影,因为很明显地,一大群的农场主的儿子都聚集在那里,双肘支在柜台上,大声地评论着她。蕾逖比之前看起来更加可爱了,也许苗条了一点,她正尽可能迅速地把蛋糕放进袋子里,熟练灵巧地轻轻纽紧每个袋口,微笑着放在她自己的手肘下,并且尽责地对待她经手的每一袋糕点。这里充斥着大量的笑声。苏菲不得不奋力在人群中前进直到终于靠近了柜台。
     Lettie saw her. She looked shaken for a moment. Then her eyes and her smile widened and she shouted, “Sophie!”
    蕾逖看见了他。她有瞬间的震动,然后笑容从她的眼中扩大到脸上,她叫起来:“苏菲!”
     “Can I talk to you?” Sophie yelled. “Somewhere,” she shouted, a little helplessly, as a large well-dressed elbow jostled her back from the counter.
    “我能跟你谈谈话吗?”苏菲叫着说。“找个地方。”她叫,这稍稍有点帮助,柜台那边有很多衣着考究的手肘在她背后推挤着。
     “Just a moment!” Lettie screamed back. She turned to the girl next to her and whispered. The girl nodded, grinned, and came to take Lettie’s place.
    “就等一下!”蕾逖叫着回答,她转向靠近她的一个女孩耳语,那女孩点头,咧嘴一笑,然后走过来替代她的位置。
     “You’ll have to have me instead,” she said to the crowd. “Who’s next?”
    “你们只好由我来代替她服务了。”她对人群说。“下一个是谁?”
     “But I want to talk to you, Lettie!” one of the farmers’ sons yelled.
    “但是我想跟你说话,蕾逖!”一个农场主的儿子叫道。
     “Talk to Carrie,” Lettie said. “I want to talk to my sister.” Nobody really seemed to mind. They jostled Sophie along to the end of the counter where Lettie held up a flap and beckoned, and told her not to keep Lettie all day. When Sophie had edged through the flap, Lettie seized her wrist and dragged her into the back of the shop, to a room surrounded by rack upon wooden rack, each one filled with rows of cakes. Lettie pulled forward two stools. “Sit down,” she said. She looked in the nearest rack, in an absent-minded way, and handed Sophie a cream cake out of it. “You may need this,” she said.
    “跟卡丽说吧。”蕾逖回答。“我可想要和我姐姐说话。”看上去没有人真的介意,他们一直把苏菲推向蕾逖挥手招呼着她的柜台的末端,并告诉她别把蕾逖独占一整天。当苏菲沿着边缘穿过柜台一侧,蕾逖抓住她的手腕,扶着她的背将她引到店后面,到了一个重叠的木架环绕的房间,每一个木架上都放满一排排的蛋糕,蕾逖把两张凳子扯向前。“坐吧。”她说。她心不在焉地看看最近的架子,拿出一块奶油蛋糕递给苏菲。“你需要吃点东西。”她说。
     Sophie sank onto the stool, breathing the rich smell of cake and feeling a little tearful. “Oh, Lettie!” she said. “I am so glad to see you!”
    苏菲沉入凳子上坐着,呼吸着充满了蛋糕香味的空气,感到有一点泪眼朦胧。“哦,蕾逖!”她说。“我真高兴见到你。”
     “Yes, and I’m glad you’re sitting down,” said Lettie. “You see, I’m not Lettie, I’m Martha.”
    “是啊,并且我也很高兴你现在是坐着的。”蕾逖说。“因为你看,我不是蕾逖,我是玛莎。”
  
  ——————————————
  第一章完毕。
  说明1:店里的那些动作实在很多而难于翻译。还有所有那些服装和与服装相关的一些动作,应该去搜一下服装类的书的,这样至少可以在名词上准确一点点。或者有时间的话,配上些说明的插图。
  2.没怎么修改不通顺的地方,尽量按原文或者我以为理解了的原文翻译,当然也有忽略掉或随心所欲翻译的地方,如果在完成全篇后,可能会有比较深的理解而重新再检查一次吧。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 00:06:59
   1: in which Sophie talks to hats
      第一章 苏菲跟帽子的谈话
       In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes.
      在因盖瑞大陆、一个诸如千里鞋和披着斗蓬的隐形人真实存在着的地方,生为三个姊妹中最大的一个是一件很不幸的事。最糟的是,当你们三姊妹不得不自谋出路的时候,人人都确信你会是最先失败的一个。
  
  
   ———————————————
  
  我的理解:
  
  在因盖瑞这样一块诸如千里鞋和隐形斗蓬真实存在的大地上,生为三个姊妹中最大的一个真是十分不幸。如果你们三姊妹出发各奔前程,人人都确信你会失败得最早,也失败得最惨。
  
  胡乱试试,敬博一笑,说错莫怪:)
  
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 00:46:08
  Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
  
  蕾逖是一点也不甘心像苏菲那样,注定要落后于人的。
  
作者:half_half 时间:2006-04-06 02:05:04
  She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success.
  应该是她甚至还不是一个woodcutter的孩子。
  
  Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
  my understanding is Lettie一点不甘心步苏菲的后尘,成为注定最失败的那个。
  
  Lettie could be awkwardly strong-minded at times.
  非常固执
  
  Martha, who was bound to strike out and make her fortune
  注定需要为她的未来奋斗
作者:half_half 时间:2006-04-06 02:27:21
   the morning after that they all saw her off on the carrier’s cart, looking small and upright and nervous.
  她们看着martha做在颠簸不停的马车越走越远。
  
  Martha was understandably scared.
  可以理解martha吓坏了
  
  she remarked to the hat she was trimming at that moment.
  对着帽子说
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 09:00:15
  作者:ernie 回复日期:2006-4-6 0:06:59 
     1: in which Sophie talks to hats
        第一章 苏菲跟帽子的谈话
         In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes.
        在因盖瑞大陆、一个诸如千里鞋和披着斗蓬的隐形人真实存在着的地方,生为三个姊妹中最大的一个是一件很不幸的事。最糟的是,当你们三姊妹不得不自谋出路的时候,人人都确信你会是最先失败的一个。
    
    
     ———————————————
    
    我的理解:
    
    在因盖瑞这样一块诸如千里鞋和隐形斗蓬真实存在的大地上,生为三个姊妹中最大的一个真是十分不幸。如果你们三姊妹出发各奔前程,人人都确信你会失败得最早,也失败得最惨。
    
    胡乱试试,敬博一笑,说错莫怪:)
  
  ________________________________
  细看果然,不知为何将and worst看作是与后面一句相接或者独立于整个句子,而不是与前面的first并列,所以一开始也总感觉自己翻译的好奇怪.谢谢ernie兄指正.
    
  
  
  作者:ernie 回复日期:2006-4-6 00:46:08 
    Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
    
    蕾逖是一点也不甘心像苏菲那样,注定要落后于人的。
  ___________________________________________
  这句实在说之前看得半懂不懂,was bound to be the least successful我一直认为是主要形容蕾逖的,而没有想到其实可能是形容苏菲的个性,所以错得真是很离谱了.
  联系前面是在姐妹的争执中,我想或许可以修改为:蕾逖不象苏菲,她从来就不甘心落于下风。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 09:13:36
  碧羽 MM 客气了:)
  
  其实这一句的下文也可以给我们的理解足够的“启示”或者“限定”:
  
  “It’s not fair!” Lettie would shout. “Why should Martha have the best of it just because she was born the youngest? I shall marry a prince, so there!”
      “这不公平!”蕾逖会叫道。“为什么玛莎就能得到最好的,仅仅因为她是最晚出生的一个?看着吧,我将嫁给一个王子,我已经决定了!”
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 09:17:36
  作者:half_half 回复日期:2006-4-6 02:05:04
  
  ——————————————————
  1. She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success.
    应该是她甚至还不是一个woodcutter的孩子。
  -————这句我最初想的意思是应该说她还好没有落到最差的境地,就是出生在一个雕版师的家庭里面,从以前看的书里,在西方雕版师似乎是一个非常辛苦而可能并没有很高收入的工作,至少可能没有很高的地方,除了特别出色的,所以就作为比较低收入的代表而这样译了。不知理解是否准确。
  
  2.  Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
    my understanding is Lettie一点不甘心步苏菲的后尘,成为注定最失败的那个。
  ______________________
  这句,因为蕾逖是老二,而那个传说是针对老大的,所以我想蕾逖不会有这方面的想法,我倾向于ernie兄的意见,认为说成是蕾逖不甘落后比较好。
  
  3.  Lettie could be awkwardly strong-minded at times.
    非常固执
  ———谢谢有这么简洁的翻译,awkwardly 放在strong-minded前让我想了好久,不知这是否是一种习惯的用法?
  
  4. Martha, who was bound to strike out and make her fortune
    注定需要为她的未来奋斗
  ——————
  我从句意理解Martha是需要为未来奋斗的,但是从苏菲当时的角度看,而且是在Fanny解释她为martha安排的是一个相对安静而似乎没有很大竞争的生活,再加上后面martha的理想其实是结婚生小孩,所以我按自己以为符合情理一点的方式随心所欲地改成这样子的。:)不过你的翻译我认为是对的。
  
  感谢指教。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 09:17:41
  作者:ernie 回复日期:2006-4-6 00:46:08 
    Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
    
    蕾逖是一点也不甘心像苏菲那样,注定要落后于人的。
   -----------------------------------------
  我自己觉得,这样翻译还是很不到位的,还得斟酌:(
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 09:22:31
  ernie兄早!:)
  
  当时这附近的几段我也是反复看了一下的,不过这句是具体的谈话,我想成是脱离了前面一段存在的,而写的是另外的类似的场景,再说之前的理解错误,认为这是普通的描写姐妹争执,并没有想到作者其实是在刻画出蕾逖的个性,所以才犯了这样一个错误。:)
  
  确实很高兴鼓起勇气发贴,不然现在都还没发现自己这么多的错误。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 09:24:14
  我改成了:蕾逖不象苏菲,她从来就不甘心落于下风。
  
  一般姐妹吵架总是有不认输的一个,所以我想这样翻译,不知道正不正确。:)
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 09:25:09
  生为三个姊妹中最大的一个真是十分不幸。。。。
  
  She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success.
  
  好在还没有糟糕到出生在一个雕版师的家庭里面,(没有出生在一个雕版师的家庭)本该给予她某种成功的机会(然而。。。见后文)
  
  , which 是引导非限制性定语从句,(注意“,”, 注意不是 who )
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 09:31:08
  She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success.
    
    好在还没有糟糕到出生在一个雕版师的家庭里面,(没有出生在一个雕版师的家庭)本该给予她某种成功的机会(然而。。。见后文)
  ——————————
  这句当时为组织中文的句意,所以被绕糊涂了。我的理解是,她如果出生在雕版师家里,那家庭就不大可能给她提供一些成功的必备条件了,所以她还是有机会的,因为她的父母毕竟开了家小店,而且生活小康,但在这个社会的环境中,一个雕版师的地位也不明白是怎么样的,如果特别的翻译出来,我想反而会让不明白社会背景的人糊涂,因此简略成那样了。
作者:bluebonnet 时间:2006-04-06 11:03:45
  
  She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success.
  
  woodcutter: 伐木工人
  
  个人理解: 她甚至不是一个贫穷的伐木工的孩子,不然她也许会有成功的机会。(意思是超出父母的贫穷要比超出父母的富裕容易些. 父亲已是老板,她有多少机会比他更成功呢?)
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 11:25:23
  作者:bluebonnet 回复日期:2006-4-6 11:03:45 
  __________________________
  
  woodcutter:在词典里这个词似乎同样也有木版雕刻师的含义,惭愧,我用的翻译软件。而两相比较,由于这是一个发生在小城镇中的、而且似乎是类似十七、八世纪的英国小城镇的故事,我自然而然地就想到了雕版师这个职业,因为觉得这个比较有时代的特色:)。
  
  
  超出父母的贫穷要比超出父母的富裕容易些. 父亲已是老板,她有多少机会比他更成功呢?
  ————————————
  我觉得这样理解也不错。就算结合上下文,我也没看出这一句究竟是想表示你说想的这种遗憾的意思,还是我一开始所以为的庆幸的意思。
  如果是你所想,那么这句: 她甚至不是一个贫穷的伐木工的孩子,不然她也许会有成功的机会。我想可以翻译为:她如果是一个woodcutter的孩子,那么大概还有机会(可能)显得比较成功一点(或者说,显得不那么悲惨一点,因为对比第一段的老大会失败的最惨,这个是至少有父母的不幸作为对比,会显得好一点。^-^)。
作者:草木人语 时间:2006-04-06 11:31:28
  Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
      其他任何人的调解几乎都是注定失败的,蕾逖决不愿听从他们,除了苏菲。
       To which Martha always retorted that she would end up disgustingly rich without having to marry anybody.
      作为反驳,玛莎总是说她死也不喜欢为了钱而嫁给某人的想法。
  
  ---我觉着,这两句话好像理解的优点问题。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 11:31:49
  碧羽 MM :
  
  建议你再发到英语杂谈,可以听到更多的意见,集思广益。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 11:48:41
  谢谢ernie兄的建议,我会考虑的。
  
  不过对于发贴,其实我还是很顾虑的,只是觉得书话这里大家都比较和气,所以才终于鼓起勇气发出来。倒不是怕批评,只是觉得不习惯被人注意。
  
  但确实,之前是没有发现这里有专门的英语论坛,我想为了了解更多的意见,发去那里是比较正确的吧。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 11:51:45
  不必顾虑,那边高人很多,而且热心助人。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 11:52:55
  作者:草木人语 回复日期:2006-4-6 11:31:28 
    Lettie was by no means resigned to being the one who, next to Sophie, was bound to be the least successful.
        其他任何人的调解几乎都是注定失败的,蕾逖决不愿听从他们,除了苏菲。
         To which Martha always retorted that she would end up disgustingly rich without having to marry anybody.
        作为反驳,玛莎总是说她死也不喜欢为了钱而嫁给某人的想法。
    
    ---我觉着,这两句话好像理解的优点问题。
  
  ————————————
  我也觉得,呵呵。
  第一句我的翻译是明显错误的,经过ernie兄的提醒,已经改了一下。
  第二句,我是确实不能很明白,只看得出玛莎确实是非常态度激烈地反驳,不过她反驳的要点,我是暂且按我自己的习惯思维、作为对她姐姐要嫁给有权势的人的反驳、我想会说出的可能会说出的话,这样来进行翻译的。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 13:07:44
   For a while everyone was certain that the castle would come right down into the valley before long, and the Mayor talked of sending to the King for help.
  
  这句漏译了。:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 13:42:50
  天哪!!这句是哪里的??我居然一直没看到.....汗..
  
  这句我想应该翻译为:有段时间人们都确信城堡会从上面直翻下来掉到山谷里,市长也为此向国王发出了求助信。
  
  不过我真的还没找到这句是哪里的.....-_-b
  
  谢谢ernie兄的仔细,另外我想说的是,其实发在书话还因为这里很多文笔非常好的前辈,而我想要求教的不光是英文的翻译,还有中文的文笔表达之类的问题,^_^。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 13:46:05
  啊...找到了....
  
  当时光注意要如何把那种烟还是云还是雾的东西准确地描写出来,竟然就忘了后面这句。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 14:25:35
  碧羽 MM :
  
  我大略又看了一部分,感到许多地方你的翻译处理得很高妙,美中不足的是,又发现一些疏漏。也难怪,你一下子“练习”得太多了。这让我想到一些建议:
  1。选一段练习“精译”,力求反复修改,做到最好;
  2。把已经翻译了的,逐段自己认真检查(不着急)改进。这比让别人指出,印象更深,收效更大。------ “胜己者强”嘛:)
  
  
  
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 14:44:18
  ernie兄说得确实没错。大笑^0^,兼惭愧。
  
  我确实完全是赶着进度,因为也一方面急着看故事。所以这些基本是在两三天内、在工作和聊天的间隙里译出来的,因此看漏的地方也很多,而很多地方还似懂非懂、就为了不留空白、强行的写个相近的意思了事,一点都不是做学问的态度,再次惭愧......
  今天已边看边译到第二章后半,中间也不断地发现了一些的问题,有时是发现前面的理解有错误,只好随时返回前面去再次检查修改,但是这里不能修改编辑贴子,所以已发出来的部分都没办法改,或者只有改博客上的了。而之前的想法其实就是尽快把第一遍先译出来,因为通读一遍之后,我想有些现在还不理解的地方,才会知道意思。那时候大概也稍微熟悉一点了,再整个的来重新修改一遍。
  
  谢谢ernie兄的建议和鼓励。:)
  
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 14:45:10
  晕!“胜己者强” -----应为:“自胜者强”
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 15:05:24
  没关系,意思是一样,而且前一句“胜”用做动词更加有激励的感觉。笑。
作者:研研一兮 时间:2006-04-06 15:27:36
  原版竟然是英文的 ?
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 15:29:44
  啊?是啊?这个是英国小说嘛,虽然是日本动画。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 15:37:25
  “自胜者强”才是《老子》的原话。
  
作者:wanline 时间:2006-04-06 15:39:41
  e兄出手,不同凡响……
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 15:59:57
  还是先把已经翻译了部分发上来,接受指正.....
  
  ________________________________
  
    2:in which Sophie is compelled to seek her fortune.
    第二章  苏菲为何被迫另寻出路
    “What?” Sophie stared at the girl on the stool opposite her. She looked just like Lettie. She was wearing Lettie’s second-best blue dress, a wonderful blue that suited her perfectly. She had Lettie’s dark hair and blue eyes.
    “什么?”苏菲瞪着对面凳上的女孩。她看起来就像是蕾逖。她穿着蕾逖第二好的那件蓝色衣服,一种非常适合她的奇妙的蓝色。她也有蕾逖的黑头发和蓝眼睛。
    “I am Martha,” said her sister. “Who did you catch cutting up Lettie’s silk drawers? I never told Lettie that. Did you?”
    “我是玛莎。”她的妹妹说。“你抓住谁撕碎了蕾逖的丝绸衬裙的?我从没告诉过蕾逖这事,你呢?”
     “No,” said Sophie, quite stunned. She could see it was Martha now. There was Martha’s tilt to Lettie’s head, and Martha’s way of clasping her hands round her knees with her thumbs twiddling. “Why?”
    “我也没有,”苏菲说,完全晕了。现在她看出这是玛莎了。蕾逖的头以玛莎习惯的那样侧着,用钩着的双手环抱过膝盖的动作,也是玛莎的。“为什么?”
    “I’ve been dreading you coming to see me,” Martha said, “because I knew I’d have to tell you. It’s a relief now I have. Promise you won’t tell anyone. I know you won’t tell if you promise. You’re so honorable.”
    “我曾经担心你会来看我,”玛莎说。“因为我知道我一定得告诉你。这是我现在唯一的安慰.答应我不要告诉任何人,我知道假如你答应了,你就不会告诉任何人的,因为你是那么有荣誉感。”
    “I promise,” Sophie said. “But why? How?”
    “我发誓。”苏菲说。“不过究竟为什么?怎么回事?”
    “Lettie and I arranged it,” Martha said, twiddling her thumbs, “because Lettie wanted to learn witchcraft and I didn’t. Lettie’s got brains, and she wants a future where she can use them-only try telling that to Mother! Mother’s too jealous of Lettie even to admit she has brains!”
    “是蕾逖和我安排的。”玛莎说。玩弄着她的拇指,“因为蕾逖想学魔法而我不想。蕾逖很有脑子,她想要一个她能充分使用它们的未来——只差告诉妈妈了。可是妈妈太嫉妒她,甚至不承认她的聪明。”
    Sophie could not believe Fanny was like that, but she let it pass. “But what about you?”
    苏菲简直不敢相信范妮会是这样的人。但是她且不去管它。“但是你怎样想?”
    “Eat your cake,” said Martha. “It’s good. Oh, yes, I can be clever too. It only took me two weeks at Mrs. Fairfax’s to find the spell we’re using. I got up at night and read her books secretly, and it was easy really. Then I asked if I could visit my family and Mrs. Fairfax said yes. She’s a dear. She thought I was homesick. So I took the spell and came here, and Lettie went back to Mrs. Fairfax pretending to be me. The difficult part was the first week, when I didn’t know all the things I was supposed to know. It was awful. But I discovered that people like me-they do, you know, if you like them-and then it was all right. And Mrs. Fairfax hasn’t kicked Lettie out, so I suppose she managed too.”
    “尝尝你的蛋糕,”玛莎说,“它很好吃,哦,是的,我也可以很聪明。我在法尔费克斯夫人那里只花了两周时间就找到了我们现在用的这个咒语。我夜里起床,偷读她的书,那真简单。然后我就问是否我可以拜访一下我的家人,而法尔费克斯夫人同意了。她真可爱。她认为我是想家了。然后我就来了这儿,施加咒语(变成蕾逖的样子),蕾逖则假装成我回法尔费克斯夫人那里去。最困难的是第一个星期,我不知道我本应知道的所有事,那真糟透了。但我发现人们喜欢我——他们会的,你知道,假如你像他们一样——然后就一切都顺利了。法尔费克斯夫人也没有赶走蕾逖,因此我猜想她也应付过去了。”
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:00:54
  Sophie chomped at cake she was not really tasting. “But what made you want to do this?”
    苏菲机械地咬着蛋糕,其实并没有真正尝到味道。“但是是什么让你想这么做的?”
    Martha rocked on her stool, grinning all over Lettie’s face, twirling her thumbs in a happy pink whirl. “I want to get married and have ten children.”
    玛莎在她的凳子上摆动着身体,用蕾逖的脸绽开笑容,旋转拨弄她的拇指,直到它们变成快乐的粉红色。“我想要结婚,然后生十个孩子。”
    “You’re not quite old enough!” said Sophie.
    “你还不够大呢。”苏菲说。
    “Not quite,” Martha agreed. “But you can see I’ve got to start quite soon in order to fit ten children in. And this way gives me time to wait and see if the person I want likes me for being me. The spell’s going to wear off gradually, and I shall get more and more like myself, you see.”
    “确实不够。”玛莎同意。“但是你能看见,我正在准备开始并且很快就会适应有十个孩子的生活,这工作给我时间等着看是否有我希望他喜欢我并且属于我的人出现。符咒的魔力会逐渐的消失,我会越来越像我自己,你看。”
    Sophie was so astonished that she finished her cake without noticing what kind it had been. “Why ten children?”
    苏菲是如此惊讶,以至于她吃完了蛋糕都没有注意到那是哪一种。“为什么是十个孩子?”
    “Because that’s how many I want,” Said Martha.
    “因为我就想要那么多。”玛莎说。
    “I never knew!”
    “我从不知道!”
    “Well, it wasn’t much good going on about it when you were so busy backing Mother up about me making my fortune,” Martha said. “You thought Mother meant it. I did too, until Father died and I saw she was just trying to get rid of us- putting Lettie where she was bound to meet a lot of men and get married off, and sending me as far away as she could! I was so angry I thought, Why not? And I spoke to Lettie and she was just as angry and we fixed it up. We’re fine now. But we both feel bad about you. You’re far too clever and nice to be stuck in that shop for the rest of your life. We talked about it, but we couldn’t see what to do.”
    “哪,在你还这么急着赶回妈妈那里去的时候,继续唠唠叨叨地谈关于我如何规划我的未来似乎不太好。”玛莎说。“你想想妈妈的用意吧,我也已经想过了。自从爸爸死了,我看她就光试着把我们都摆脱掉。把蕾逖送到她一定会遇见很多男人的地方好让她嫁掉,把我则送到她可能送到的最远的地方!当我想到这些的时候我真的很愤怒!为什么不?所以我告诉了蕾逖,她也一样的愤怒,因此我们一起策划了这个。我们现在都很好。但是我们都感到对不住你。你那么聪明优秀,实在不该把余下的生命都浪费在女帽店里。我们谈过这个问题,但我们不知道该怎么办。”
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:03:16
  “I’m all right,” Sophie protested. “Just a bit dull.”
    “我很好。”苏菲抗议,“只是有点无趣。”
    “All right?” Martha exclaimed. “Yes, you prove you’re all right by not coming near here for months, and then turning up in a frightful gray dress and shawl, looking as if even I scare you! What’s Mother been doing to you?”
    “很好?”玛莎吃惊道。“是的,你用一连几个月都不能来这里证明了你的很好,然后穿着那么一件可怕的灰衣服和披肩,看上去就好象连我都吓到了你!妈妈究竟对你做了些什么?”
    “Nothing,” Sophie said uncomfortably. “We’ve been rather busy. You shouldn’t talk about Fanny that way, Martha. She is your mother.”
    “没什么。”苏菲困难地说。“我们一直非常的忙。你不应该那样谈论范妮,玛莎,她是你的妈妈。”
    “Yes, and I’m enough like her to understand her,” Martha retorted. “That’s why she sent me so far away, or tried to. Mother knows you don’t have to be unkind to someone in order to exploit them. She knows how dutiful you are. She knows you have this thing about being a failure because you’re only the eldest. She’s managed you perfectly and got you slaving away for her. I bet she doesn’t pay you.”
    “是啊。我像她像到足以了解她。”玛莎反驳。“那就是她为什么把我送那么远去,虽然只是设法。妈妈知道你决不会对任何人不和善,为了照顾他们的情绪。她知道你多么顺从。她知道你那么愿意承担起责任就因为你是最大的一个。她完美地控制了你,让你像奴隶一样为她工作。我猜她从来没有付你工钱。”
    “I’m still an apprentice,” Sophie protested.
    “我还是个学徒。”苏菲抗议。
    “So am I, but I get a wage. The Cesaris know I’m worth it,” said Martha. “That hat shop is making a mint these days, and all because of you! You made that green hat that makes the Mayor’s wife look like a stunning schoolgirl, didn’t you?”
    “我也是,但我拿到了工资。克萨里知道我工作的价值。”玛莎说。“帽子店这些日子来赚了大钱,那都是因为你!你做的那顶绿色帽子让市长夫人看起来简直年轻的象个女学生,是你做的吗?”
    “Caterpillar green. I trimmed it,” said Sophie.
   “青虫绿色的那顶。是我装饰的。”苏菲说。
    “And the bonnet Jane Farrier was wearing when she met that nobleman,” Martha swept on. “You’re a genius with hats and clothes, and Mother knows it! You sealed your fate when you made Lettie that outfit last May Day. Now you earn the money while she goes off gadding-“
    “还有简·法瑞尔遇见那个贵族时戴的那顶无沿女帽。”玛莎说。“你在服装和女帽上是个天才,妈妈知道这一点!在你去年给蕾逖做那件衣服的时候你的命运就被注定了。现在她在外面闲逛,而你却在为她赚钱。”
    “She’s out doing the buying,” Sophie said.
    “她是出去做买卖。”苏菲说。
    “Buying!” Martha cried. Her thumbs whirled. “That takes her half a morning. I’ve seen her, Sophie, and heard the talk. She’s off in a hired carriage and new clothes on your earnings, visiting all the mansions down the valley! They’re saying she’s going to buy that big place down at Vale End and set up in style. And where are you?”
    “做买卖!”玛莎叫道,更快地拨弄她的拇指。“那只花去她半个早晨。我看见过她,苏菲,也听到传闻。她穿着用你给她赚的钱买来的新衣服,坐着雇来的马车外出,拜访山谷里所有的公寓,他们说她正打算在谷底买一所装修时尚的大房子,而你在哪里?”
    “Well, Fanny’s entitled to some pleasure after all her hard work bringing us up,” Sophie said. “I suppose I’ll inherit the shop.”
    “可是,范妮在那么辛苦地养大了我们之后,她有资格做她想做的事。”苏菲说。“我想我将会继承女帽店啊。”
    “What a fate!” Martha exclaimed. “Listen-“
    “那是什么前途啊?!”玛莎喊到。“听着——”
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:05:08
    But at that moment two empty cake racks were pulled away at the other end of the room, and an apprentice stuck his head through from the back somewhere “Thought I heard your voice, Lettie,” he said, grinning in the most friendly and flirtatious way. “The new baking’s just up. Tell them.” His head, curly and somewhat floury, disappeared again. Sophie thought he looked a nice lad. She longed to ask if he was the one Martha really liked, but she did not get a chance. Martha sprang up in a hurry, still talking.
   不过这时两列空的糕点架子被推到了房间的另一头,一个学徒从架子后面探出头。“我就想我听见了你的声音,蕾逖。”他说,像是要尽力讨好她那样地笑,“又上了一炉新的蛋糕,告诉他们。”他的卷曲的头发上沾着些面粉,再次消失了。苏菲觉得他看上去是个正派的好小伙子,她想追问这是不是就是玛莎真正喜欢的那个人,不过她没有机会,玛莎匆忙跳起来,一边说着。
    “I must get the girls to carry all these through to the shop.” She said. “Help me with the end of this one.” She dragged out the nearest rack and Sophie helped her hump it past the door into the roaring, busy shop. “You must do something about yourself, Sophie,” Martha panted as they went. “Lettie kept saying she didn’t know what would happen to you when we weren’t around to give you some self-respect. She was right to be worried.”
   “我得去叫女孩子们来把这些搬到店里去。”她说。“在后面帮我推一下这个。”她拖出最近的架子,苏菲帮着她,弓着腰,穿过门,把架子推进喧闹的忙碌的店里。“你必须得为你自己做点什么了,苏菲。”中途玛莎喘着气说。“蕾逖一直说我们不在你身边给你自信的话,都不知道你会发生什么事。她真的为此忧心忡忡。”
    In the shop Mrs. Cesari seized the rack from them in both massive arms, yelling instructions, and a line of people rushed away past Martha to fetch more. Sophie yelled goodbye and slipped away in the bustle. It did not seem right to take up more of Martha’s time. Besides, she wanted to be alone to think. She ran home. There were fireworks now, going up from the field by the river where the Fair was, competing with the blue bangs from Howl’s castle. Sophie felt more like an invalid than ever.
   在店里,克萨里夫人用她两只健壮的臂膊从她们那里接过了糕点架,大声地下指示,一排人匆匆忙忙地穿过玛莎去搬更多的架子。苏菲叫着说再见,匆忙从人群中溜开,再过多占用玛莎的时间似乎不太好,此外,她想一个人呆着想想。她沿着回家的路奔跑,这时在靠河的集市那里的空地上正在放着焰火,和哈尔的城堡里放出的蓝色礼炮互相比赛着,苏菲觉得她比之前更加像个病人了。
    She thought and thought, and most of the following week, and all that happened was that she became confused and discontented. Things just did not seem to be the way she thought they were. She was amazed at Lettie and Martha. She had misunderstood them for years. But she could not believe Fanny was the kind of woman Martha said.
   在接下来一周的大部分时间里,她对所有那些导致了她的烦恼和不满的事想了又想。事情显然不像她一直以来以为的那样,她吃惊于蕾逖和玛莎的事。多年来她一直没有了解她们,但是她不能相信范妮会是玛莎所描述的那种人。
    There was a lot of time for thinking, because Bessie duly left to be married and Sophie was mostly alone in the shop. Fanny did seem to be out a lot, gadding or not, and trade was slack after May Day. After three days Sophie plucked up enough courage to ask Fanny, “Shouldn’t I be earning a wage?”
    有很多的时间供她思考,因为五月节后生意清淡了下来,而贝茜适时地结婚并且离开了,苏菲大部分时间都得一个人呆在店里。范妮确实非常多的时间都在外面,闲逛或是其他。三天后苏菲鼓起足够的勇气去问范妮:“我会有工资吗?”
    “Of course, my love, with all you do!” Fanny answered warmly, fixing on a rose-trimmed hat in front of the shop mirror. “We’ll see about it as soon as I’ve done the accounts this evening.” Then she went out and did not come back until Sophie had shut the shop and taken that day’s hats through to the house to trim.
    “当然,我亲爱的,你做的一切都会有报酬的!”范妮热情地回答,在店里的镜子前试着一顶装饰着玫瑰花的帽子。“今晚等我做完店里的账后,我们就来看看这个吧。”
    Sophie at first felt mean to have listened to Martha, but when Fanny did not mention a wage, either that evening or any time later that week, Sophie began to think that Martha had been right.
    苏菲起初为她听信玛莎而感觉自己有点卑鄙,不过,在那个晚上以及那个星期剩余的时间里,范妮都没有再提起工资的事,苏菲开始相信玛莎的话是真的了。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:09:04
    “Maybe I am being exploited,” she told a hat she was trimming with red silk and a bunch of wax cherries, “but someone has to do this or there will be no hats at all to sell.” She finished that hat and started on a stark black-and-white one, very modish, and a quite new thought came to her. “Does it matter if there are no hats to sell?” she asked it. She looked round at the assembled hats, on stands or waiting in a heap to be trimmed. “What good are you all?” she asked them. “You certainly aren’t doing me a scrap of good.”
    “我也许是被利用了吧。”她对帽子说,她正为它缝上红色的丝绸和一串蜡制的樱桃。“但是总得有人来做帽子,不然这儿就根本没有帽子卖了。”她完成这顶帽子,开始着手下一顶完全由黑色和白色组成的流行款式的帽子,一个崭新的想法突然来到她脑中。“要是这里没有帽子卖了,会要紧吗?”她问那顶帽子。她四下看看周围,那些放在帽架上或者撂成一堆的等待装饰的帽子。“你们都是非常优秀的吧?”她问它们。“但是这对我却没有一丁点好处。”
     And she was within an ace of leaving the house and settling out to seek her fortune, until she remembered she was the eldest and there was no point. She took up the hat again, sighing.
    她差点就要离开这屋子,出发去另谋生路了,直到她突然想起来她是最年长的一个,这意味着她没指望了。她于是又坐下来,拿起帽子,开始做针线活。
  (这一段只简单地描述,不过感觉出有点悲凉,对苏菲那种认命的态度。)
    She was still discontented, alone in the shop next morning, when a very plain young woman customer stormed in, whirling a pleated mushroom bonnet by its ribbons. “Look at this!” the young lady shrieked. “You told me this was the same as the bonnet Jane Farrier was wearing when she met the Count. And you lied. Nothing has happened to me at all!”
    隔天的早晨,当她一个人呆在店里的时候,她还是无法感到满意。这时一个非常朴素的年轻女顾客一阵风地卷了进来,拎着一顶打着摺折的蘑菇形的无边女帽,她抓住缎带的一头,不停地甩动着帽子。“看看这个!”那年轻的女士尖叫着。“你告诉我这跟简·法瑞尔遇见伯爵时戴的那顶帽子完全一样,你撒谎!我戴着这顶帽子就没遇到任何事!”
    “I’m not surprised,” Sophie said, before she had caught up with herself. “If you’re fool enough to wear that bonnet with a face like that, you wouldn’t have the wit to spot the King himself if he came a begging- if he hadn’t turned to stone first just at the sight of you.”
    “我一点也不吃惊。”在苏菲能控制住自己之前,她已经脱口而出。“你傻得可以,才会长了这样一张脸,却戴那种帽子,就算国王亲自来求婚,你也没那么聪明能认得出他来——那还得假如他在看了你之后没有先变成石像。”
  (基本是意译。前一段我想应该要译得更加趣味横生才对得起原文这事件的,一个长相欠佳的女顾客以为戴上完全一样的样式的帽子就可以跟简一样吸引贵族或至少是她期待中的男士的目光,这跟东施以为西施之所以被众人赞誉仅因为她颦眉捧心的动作一样,不过这位女士的气愤使得事情更加可笑得多。而如果提到了石像的话,想来这位女顾客也同样将头发弄成卷曲而看起来跟蛇发类似吧。)
    The customer glared. Then she threw the bonnet at Sophie and stormed out of the shop. Sophie carefully crammed the bonnet into the wastebasket, panting rather. The rule was : Lose your temper, lose a customer. She had just proven that rule. It troubled her to realize how very enjoyable it had been.
    那位女顾客目瞪口呆,然后她把帽子扔向苏菲,气冲冲地冲出店子。苏菲小心地把帽子放进废物篮里,微微喘着气。做生意的规则就是:不能控制脾气就会失去顾客。她刚刚就证明了这一点。但这使她意识到不用压制自己是多么快乐的事。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:14:39
  “Miss Hatter?” the lady asked in a musical but commanding voice.
    “哈特小姐?”那位女士用悦耳但是居高临下的声音问道。
    “Yes,” said Sophie. The man looked more upset than ever. Perhaps the lady was his mother.
    “是的。”苏菲说。那个男人看起来更加的站不住了,或许这位女士是他的母亲。
    “I hear you sell the most heavenly hats,” said the lady. “Show me.”
    “我听说你们出售最好的帽子。”女士说。“给我看看。”
    Sophie did not trust herself to answer in her present mood. She went and got out hats. None of them were in this lady’s class, but she could feel the man’s eyes following her and that made her uncomfortable. The sooner that lady discovered the hats were all wrong for her, the sooner this odd pair would go. She followed Fanny’s advice and got out the wrongest first.
    苏菲不确信自己能做出令她满意的答复。她去拿出那些帽子,它们中没一顶是符合这位女士的身份的,但是她能感觉那男人的目光一直追随着她,这使她很不舒服。那位女士越早发现这里的帽子都不适合她,这不协调的一对顾客就会越早离开。她遵循范妮的建议,先拿出了最糟的一顶帽子。
    The lady began rejecting hats instantly. “Dimples,” she said to the pink bonnet, and “Youth” to the caterpillar-green one. To the one of twinkles and veils she said, “Mysterious allure. How very obvious. What else have you?”
    那位女士开始很快地否决那些帽子。“累赘!”她评价那顶粉红色的帽子,用“幼稚”评价那顶青虫绿色的帽子。对那顶闪亮反光的帽子她说,“有很神秘的吸引力,多么显而易见。你还有别的什么吗?”
    Sophie got out the modish black-and-white, which was the only hat even remotely likely to interest this lady.
    苏菲拿出那顶时髦的黑白相间的帽子,这是唯一或许能稍稍引起那位女士兴趣的帽子了。
    The lady looked at it with contempt. “This one doesn’t do anything for anybody. You’re wasting my time, Miss Hatter.”
    女士轻蔑地看着这顶帽子,“这帽子任何人都不会要。你是在浪费我的时间,哈特小姐。”
    “Only because you came in and asked for hats” Sophie said. “This is only a small shop in a small town, Madam. Why did you-“ Behind the lady, the man gasped and seemed to be trying to signal warningly. “- bother to come in?” Sophie finished, wondering what was going on.
    “是您自己走进来要求看看帽子的。”苏菲说。“这只是个小镇上的小店,女士,为什么您要——”在那位女士之前,那男人发出气喘吁吁的声音,好象是试着发出警告的信号。“——自寻烦恼地走进来呢?”她说完她的话,猜想接下来会发生什么。
    “I always bother when someone tries to set themselves up against the Witch of the Waste,” said the lady. “I’ve heard of you, Miss Hatter, and I don’t care for your competition or your attitude. I came to put a stop to you. There.” She spread out her hand in a flinging motion towards Sophie’s face.
    “当有人敢于自命不凡地对抗荒地女巫时,我总是感到烦躁。”那女士说道。“我听说过你,哈特小姐,而且我对你的态度和你的挑战很不以为然。所以我来阻止你,就在这里。”她用一个猛烈的动作在苏菲的脸前张开她的手。
    “You mean you’re the Witch of the Waste?” Sophie quavered. Her voice seemed to have gone strange with fear and astonishment.
    “您的意思是,你就是荒地女巫?”苏菲颤抖地说。因为恐惧和惊讶,她的声音听起来象是个陌生人。
    “I am,” said the lady. “And let that teach you to meddle with things that belong to me.”
    “是我。”那位女士说。“这可以教训你别去乱动不属于你的东西。”
    “I don’t think I did. There must be some mistake,” Sophie croaked. The man was now staring at her in utter horror, though she could not see why.
    “我不认为我做了什么啊。这儿一定有什么误会。”苏菲嘶哑着声音说。那男人现在用毫无疑问的恐惧表情凝视瞪着她,虽然她不知道为什么。
    “No mistake, Miss Hatter,” said the Witch. “Come, Gaston.” She turned and swept to the shop door. While the man was humbly opening it for her, she turned back to Sophie. “By the way, you won’t be able to tell anyone you’re under a spell,” she said. The shop door tolled like a funeral bell as she left.
    “没有什么误会,哈特小姐。”女巫说。“走,加斯顿。”她转过身,昂然走向店门口,那个男人谦恭地为她拉开门,她又转向苏菲。“顺便说一句,你是没办法告诉任何人你被施了这个咒语的。”她说。当她离开时,门被关上的声音,听上去就象不祥的丧礼上的钟声。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 16:17:27
    Sophie put her hands to her face, wondering what the man had stared at. She felt soft, leathery wrinkles. She looked at her hands. They were wrinkled too, and skinny, with large veins in the back and knuckles like knobs. She pulled her gray skirt against her legs and looked down at skinny, decrepit ankles and feet which had made her shoes all knobbly. They were the legs of someone about ninety and they seemed to be real.
    苏菲摸着自己的脸,想知道为什么那个男人会如此恐惧地盯着她看。她的手下感觉到了好象起皱的软皮革的东西。她看着自己的手。它们也是一样的满是皱纹,而且瘦得皮包骨,手背上布满巨大的皱纹,指关节象瘤子一样突出,她把裙子拉到小腿上,向下看,看见脚和脚踝的皮肤也衰老得好象皮革,摺皱撑得她的鞋到处鼓出来。这本应该是属于90岁高龄的老太婆的腿,然而千真万确地是她的。
    Sophie got herself to the mirror, and found she had to hobble. The face in the mirror was quite calm, because it was what she expected to see. It was the face of a gaunt old woman, withered and brownish, surrounded by wispy white hair. Her own eyes, yellow and watery, stared out at her, looking rather tragic.
    苏菲拖着自己的身体走向镜子,发现她已经是步履蹒跚。镜子里的脸非常平静,因为苏菲已经预料到她会看到什么情景了。那是一张苍老憔悴的脸,皱皱巴巴,皮肤棕褐.衬着脸周围纤乱的白发。她的眼睛,黄浊润湿,盯着自己,看上去相当悲惨。
    “Don’t worry, old thing,” Sophie said to the face. “You look quite healthy. Besides, this is much more like you really are.”
    “别担心,老家伙。”苏菲对那张脸说。“你看上去很健康,而且,这才比较像你真实的样子。”
    She thought about her situation, quite calmly. Everything seemed to have gone calm and remote. She was not even particularly angry with the Witch of the Waste.
    她非常冷静地思考着自己的处境。好象置身事外,她甚至没有特别因为荒地女巫的对她所作的事而感到愤怒。
    “Well, of course I shall have to do for her when I get the chance,” she told herself, “but meanwhile, if Lettie and Martha can stand being one another, I can stand being like this. But I can’t stay here. Fanny would have a fit. Let’s see. This gray dress is quite suitable, but I shall need my shawl and some food.”
    “好啦,要是能得着机会,我肯定会干掉她。”她自言自语。“不过,如果蕾逖和玛莎都能互换角色立场,我也能做到,象这个样子。但是我是不能再呆在这里了。范妮会歇斯底里的。这灰色的衣服还真适合我,不过我还需要我的披肩和一点食物。”(这段开始,苏菲的自白也好象个饱经世事的老太婆一样平静而絮絮叨叨了。)
    She hobbled over to the shop door and carefully put up the CLOSED notice. Her joints creaked as she moved. She had to walk bowed and slow. But she was relieved to discover that she was quite a hale old woman. She did not feel weak or ill, just stiff. She hobbled to collect her shawl, and wrapped it over her head and shoulders, as old women did. Then she shuffled through into the house, where she collected her purse with a few coins in it and a parcel or bread and cheese. She let herself out of the house, carefully hiding the key in the usual place, and hobbled away down the street, surprised at how calm she still felt.
    她蹒跚地走出店外,小心地挂上“今日停业”的招牌。她走动的时候,关节也吱吱作响。她走路的时候,不得不把腰弯得很低,但她总算欣慰地发现她还是一个身体健康的老太婆。(弯腰仅仅是因为年老而非身体虚弱,这至少是个安慰。)她一点也不感到虚弱或病痛,只是行动有点费劲。她蹒跚着找到她的披肩,蒙过头再搭到肩上,就跟一般的老年妇女常做的那样。然后她慢吞吞地走回家里,在这里她找到不多几个硬币放到她的钱包里,再找了点面包和乳酪,打在一个小包裹里面。她费力地走出房子,没有忘记把钥匙小心地藏回通常的地方,蹒跚着走到大街上。她自己也很惊讶她现在还感到如此的平静。
  (She let herself out of the house这一句我想不光是指动作上有点身不由已,要很费力才能行动,也包括了她的决意让自己离开的心情,很难两方面都兼顾地译出。)
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 20:50:32
  “So you shall, love,” said Fanny. “I’ve arranged for you to be apprenticed to Cesari’s, the pastry cook in Market Square. They’ve a name for treating their learners like kings and queens, and you should be very happy there, as well as learning a useful trade. Mrs.Cesari’s a good customer and a good friend, and she’s agreed to squeeze you in as a favor.”
      “那么你会的,亲爱的。”范妮说。“我打算送你去克萨里的店里当学徒,他是个在市场中心工作的糕点师傅,他们总是用国王和王后的名字为那些学徒们命名,你在那儿会非常开心的,也可以学点有用的生意经验。克萨里夫人是个好客户,也是个好朋友,她已经非常高兴地同意你去那里了。”
  
   ---------------------------------------------
  
  
  They’ve a name for treating their learners like kings and queens,
  
  他们出了名的善待学徒。
  
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 21:12:37
  :“现在,亲爱的苏菲,作为姐妹中最年长的一个,你理所当然地应该在我退休之后继承女帽店。因此我决定把你当作我自己的学徒,让你有机会学习如何做生意,你觉得怎么样?”
       Sophie could hardly say that she simple felt resigned to the hat trade. She thanked Fanny gratefully.
      感觉自己被和这间女帽店拴在了一起,苏菲几乎无法说话。她感激地谢了范妮。
    (这段不知如何翻译更好,苏菲显然不喜欢女帽店那种一点也没有新奇感的生活,想到这样暗淡的生活可能就是她的未来大概才是她几乎无法说话的原因。但要跟最后一句接起来的话,中间大概还得说明很多。)
   -----------------------------------
  
   Sophie could hardly say that she simple felt resigned to the hat trade.
  
  苏菲不能说自己本来就感觉到逃不脱制帽业,也就只好表示感谢。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 21:25:26
    They’ve a name for treating their learners like kings and queens,
    
    他们出了名的善待学徒。
  _________________________
  汗,我翻的错去了十万八千里,谢谢ernie兄指教。
  
  
     Sophie could hardly say that she simple felt resigned to the hat trade.
    
    苏菲不能说自己本来就感觉到逃不脱制帽业,也就只好表示感谢。
  ——————————————————————
  苏菲很难说出口自己看来是逃脱不了制帽业这一行了,只有表示感谢。
  以上。这样译不知可好?
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 21:28:42
  
   或者说是“苏菲很难说出口自己看来这辈子都摆脱不了制帽业这一行了”,我想应该需要更好的能表现苏菲那种其实很渴望变化,但是因为习惯的温顺而难于说出口不同意见的心情。
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 21:30:41
  
   象第一句本来是至少稍微认真就应该不会出太大错的,看来我果然是太过疏忽了。惭愧啊。。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 22:08:51
  苏菲很难说出口自己看来是逃脱不了制帽业这一行了,只有表示感谢。
    以上。这样译不知可好?
   ----------------------------------------
  想到一块啦,我本来也想过这样处理的 :
  
  苏菲本想说,自己明白是压根儿逃脱不了制帽这行当的,如今却很难说出口,便表示很感谢。
  
  后来觉得累赘,放弃了:)
  
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 22:10:50
  或者说是“苏菲很难说出口自己看来这辈子都摆脱不了制帽业这一行了”,我想应该需要更好的能表现苏菲那种其实很渴望变化,但是因为习惯的温顺而难于说出口不同意见的心情。
   —————————————————————
  我认为她是让继母的话堵住了嘴。
  
  我的focus 是: 很想把simply 翻译得更有神韵:)
    
  
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 22:24:56
  
  我都去注意 resigned to了,似乎习惯了去注重使用那类能表现了某类情绪的动作相关词而不是形容词。^-^
  
  我认为她是让继母的话堵住了嘴。
  ____________________________
  
  联系后面玛莎分析范妮很了解苏菲的性格而轻易地操纵着她,应该是这样没错的。我翻译的时候主要是想说,这时苏菲还并没有往坏里去想范妮,所以她的想法都只是围绕她自己的心情而发,而不是会考虑到继母的决定违背她心意,但为了不让继母失望而不反驳。她可能根本意识不到那点,就只感觉自己不喜欢这样的前途,是仅仅考虑接受这一事实的心情。
  
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 22:33:39
  呵呵, 我一直很喜欢玩味 simply 这个副词的:)
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-06 22:41:44
  多谢 wanline 兄捧场:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-06 22:42:14
  汗,又出错了,不好意思,居然能把adv看成了adj
作者:lanyi_ 时间:2006-04-07 09:25:07
  不知道楼主有没有看过日本的漫画书,我个人感觉,有些受日本漫画书影响的人,在写他们的blog时候,很有日本人作品的那种感觉,就是那种温温柔柔轻微带点阳光的味道。而在此方面,楼主的语言感觉就不是那么充分了。个人想法而已。
作者:lanyi_ 时间:2006-04-07 09:26:17
  不过还是翻得不错了,比我的好多了,呵呵。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-07 10:13:19
  作者:lanyi_
  ————————————————
  呵呵,说中了,我非常喜欢日本的漫画书,甚至自己也买了不下几百本.
  不过看漫画书是一回事,翻译是另一回事,如果是写那种有漫画感觉的小说,我想会比较明显地表现出所受的影响来。
  但是一来这并不是一部日本的童话小说,她自己的风格也显然绝对和日本小说不同;二来对于非漫画类的童话小说,我自己是比较喜欢叶君健译的安徒生童话那种、能让成年人、至少是我这个年纪的人也能认真地当严肃的东西看的叙事风格。三来,在网络上看多了一些纯粹摹仿日漫风格的小说,其中不免有一些不那么好的,使我对那种风格都快过敏了。因此,就算一边看原著,一边不可避免地会想起动画里的相关的一些夸张的动作,我还是不打算按那种方式译出来。
  说起来前天搜了一下,似乎在副版的动漫天地已经有人译过了,看了个开头,觉得比较接近你说的那种日漫风格。你可以去看看。我是担心影响自己的阅读,所以没敢看完。^-^
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-07 10:15:18
  忘了说,谢谢光临。
  里面很多错误的地方,如果发现,还请提出。^_^
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-07 22:32:49
  Wizard Howl seemed to be offended by May Day. Or maybe he was trying to join in, in his own fashion. Sophie was too terrified to care. She would have gone home, except that she was halfway to Cesari’s by then. So she ran.
    看起来巫师哈尔是被这个五月节给惹怒了,或者说他是以他自己的方式想要加入庆祝的行列。苏菲太恐惧而心生焦虑,若非她已在到克萨里店的半路上了,她宁可回家,因此她开始跑起来。
  
  Sophie was too terrified to care.苏菲也无心理会,她实在太恐惧了。
  
  
  无心理会:巫师哈尔是被这个五月节给惹怒了呢,还是以他自己的方式想要加入庆祝的行列。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-07 22:36:07
  呵,ernie兄说的是。
  发现自己的一个问题是太注意原文中的句号了,一发现句号,我一般都会单独当做一句来译,而很少再返回前文对照一下句意。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-08 08:44:38
  “Yes, and I’m enough like her to understand her,” Martha retorted. “That’s why she sent me so far away, or tried to. Mother knows you don’t have to be unkind to someone in order to exploit them. She knows how dutiful you are. She knows you have this thing about being a failure because you’re only the eldest. She’s managed you perfectly and got you slaving away for her. I bet she doesn’t pay you.”
      “是啊。我像她像到足以了解她。”玛莎反驳。“那就是她为什么把我送那么远去,虽然只是设法。妈妈知道你决不会对任何人不和善,为了照顾他们的情绪。她知道你多么顺从。她知道你那么愿意承担起责任就因为你是最大的一个。她完美地控制了你,让你像奴隶一样为她工作。我猜她从来没有付你工钱。”
  
   ----------------------------
  
  Mother knows you don’t have to be unkind to someone in order to exploit them.
  妈妈明白,如果旨在剥削一个人,倒也不必一定要对他不友好。
  
  或者:
  
  妈妈明白,不必一定要对一个人不友好才能剥削他。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-09 20:40:49
  妈妈很了解,有时候剥削一个人,并不一定要表现得穷形恶状。
  
  _________________________
  这样译如何?
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-09 21:49:14
  这样处理也很好啊,我只是觉得“有时候”三个字似乎多余:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-09 21:55:46
  这个"有时侯"是我擅自加上去的。^-^。不过重读一遍,果然是有点多余,“并不一定”其实已有了和通常不同的意思。谢谢。
作者:mszero 时间:2006-04-10 09:41:50
  可否发我一份文档,谢谢~mszero@bokee.com
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 10:02:06
  mszero:
  文档已发过去,请查收.
  并,欢迎交流.
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 19:23:21
  “Can I talk to you?” Sophie yelled. “Somewhere,” she shouted, a little helplessly, as a large well-dressed elbow jostled her back from the counter.
      “我能跟你谈谈话吗?”苏菲叫着说。“找个地方。”她叫,这稍稍有点帮助,柜台那边有很多衣着考究的手肘在她背后推挤着。
   —————————————————————
  she shouted, a little helplessly,苏菲叫喊着,显得有点无助。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 19:33:33
   “我能跟你谈谈话吗?”苏菲叫着说。“找个地方。”她有些无助地叫着,那些盛装的人的手肘推攘着她,把她从柜台前挤开.
  
  _______________________
  谢谢.我发觉后面那句也有很大问题,暂且改成现在这样.不知对不对.
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 19:44:02
  “我想找个地方和你谈谈”苏菲叫喊着,显得有点无助。因为穿着丽都的一只大手肘又把她推离了柜台。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 19:56:29
   加了"因为"两字,果然好得多.
  
   不过我还是愿意将谈话和找个地方分为两句,似乎能更表现出当时的拥挤状况,苏菲不得不因此断断续续说话。愚见.^-^
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 19:58:53
  那样更好,算我说的“精译”了:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 20:21:05
  不过要如何译出来,光那手肘的动作也够我想半天了。^-^
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 20:50:29
  Sophie sank onto the stool, breathing the rich smell of cake and feeling a little tearful. “Oh, Lettie!” she said. “I am so glad to see you!”
      苏菲沉入凳子上坐着,呼吸着充满了蛋糕香味的空气,感到有一点泪眼朦胧。“哦,蕾逖!”她说。“我真高兴见到你。”
   -----------------------------------
  这句可以再斟酌:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 21:06:02
  嗯,我想象苏菲的坐姿应该要同时表现出她终于见到妹妹松了一口气,好象心头落下一块大石,又因为途中受了不少惊吓,这时脚一软,很沉地坐到凳子上,那种如释重负的感觉.但自己也觉得这个"沉"字用得不是非常形象.不过不想用“一屁股坐在了凳上”这样,^0^,,觉得好象这样描写一个妙龄少女的动作不算好看,呵呵.纯属个人的偏见....
  rich smell,我后来似乎有想过译成“富含”蛋糕香味的,但好象没有改过来。
  后面她的话感情也不够表现充分。确实。
  
  再斟酌。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 21:11:03
  苏菲沉入凳子上坐着,呼吸着充满了蛋糕香味的空气,感到有一点泪眼朦胧。
   —————————————————————
  读者读着这样的中文,可能难以读出原文的意思。怎么样叫“沉入凳子上坐着”呢?还有“呼吸着充满了蛋糕香味的空气”:)
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 21:16:04
  
  breathing the rich smell of cake ,这一句似乎一定是要用语法分析一下才能比较准确啊。刚刚突然想到,是否可以译做“饱吸了一口蛋糕的香气。”
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 21:16:55
  好象不够文雅,汗。。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 21:22:06
  let me have a try:
  
  苏菲颓然坐下,美美地饱吸着蛋糕的香气。
楼主碧羽朱砂 时间:2006-04-10 21:38:44
  我也想过用“颓然”,不过觉得这时苏菲的心境本应该是比较放松才对,而颓然一词似乎让人感觉她反而有些伤感。
作者:ernie 时间:2006-04-10 21:52:48
  我本想用“颓然”表达“如释重负”的感觉。如果不行,再试试:
  
  “一下子坐了下来”——— 累赘些:)
  
  
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